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Writer's pictureShe Talks Asia

Dr. Joanna Herrera on the importance of self-compassion and aging graciously and joyfully


“When I look at the major choices and paths I’ve taken, I feel extremely happy, grateful, and fulfilled. I have a better appreciation of the constellation of experiences I’ve had, including those dark points that felt “impossible” and “impassable” at that time,” shares Clinical Psychologist Joanna Herrera. As a mental health practitioner for over two decades, Doc Jabby, is able to use her practice not just to help others, but to have a clearer understanding of herself as well. “Now, I see a sense of wholeness, meaning, and inner strength.” She shares with She Talks Asia the perspectives and experiences that have shaped her life thus far.



What do you do for a living and what are the things that make you feel more alive?

I am a clinical psychologist practicing in the field of mental health for about 25 years now. I hold private practice for individuals and families, co-lead a mental health organization (We Thrive) and a non-profit initiative (Circle of Hope), and provide consultation and training to various organizations in developing mental health and wellbeing programs.   


Community is the first thing that comes to mind. I feel drawn to and nourished by community life. We have a strong community at work that amazes me every day. It’s not always easy, but we find that our work is too important and too complex to do alone. Community strengthens us. Exploration and travel also make me feel very alive. Stepping out of the familiar order, immersing in nature or experiencing a different culture opens up a sense of wonder and curiosity that can be very refreshing. I love walking the Camino de Santiago every couple of years! Moments of slowing down and relishing the present are also very special for me, like when I get to enjoy my cup of coffee while looking out to the trees outside. It’s a micro-moment of being very connected to myself and to life.   


How old are you?

I’m 51 years old.


I am most known for…

compassionate leadership.


I am most proud of…

compassionate leadership. 


What do you think is the biggest challenge, and the best thing, about being your age?

The biggest challenge for me has been in accepting and navigating how my body is changing, especially with menopause. In men, physical changes through mid-life are much more gradual, therefore the process is more subtle. In women, perimenopause and menopause bring about dramatic changes due to the hormonal shifts. This comes with  significant psychological transition. There have been changes in the way I experience my emotions. For me specifically, anxiety can be more challenging to regulate so I must be much more intentional in caring for myself. These transitions bring up vulnerability and it takes everyday acceptance to age graciously and joyfully.   


The best thing has been in gaining deeper confidence and trust in myself. I’ve reached a place of seeing my life in a better perspective. When I look at the major choices and paths I’ve taken, I feel extremely happy, grateful, and fulfilled. I have a better appreciation of the constellation of experiences I’ve had, including those dark points that felt “impossible” and “impassable” at that time. Now, I see a sense of wholeness, meaning, and inner strength. This translates into bringing more calmness and clarity to my work, my life, and my relationships.



How have you grown wiser in the past few years?

These past few years, I’ve had a major awakening about how I’ve been entrenched in patterns of accommodation with certain relationships that have prevented me from growing and being more authentic to my purpose and values. I’ve made some pretty big changes in setting healthier boundaries. At first, I felt so guilty for the pain it has caused, many times doubting myself. I also grieved the changes very deeply, hoping sometimes I could just revert to the old life. But then, as I allowed this journey to unfold, I began to see that going back to those patterns of accommodation would mean shrinking or chipping off parts of myself. I had already grown into a different person, I’ve become more of my True Self. The wisdom came from taking the brave step to evolve when the opportunity presented itself. 


What is the best piece of life advice you have ever received?

My Zen teacher, before she passed away a few years ago, gave me this teaching: You are the One Treasure, so you should come to know who you really are. I cherish and ponder this every day.  


Who are the women you look up to and how have they helped shape your life?

My Zen teacher, Sr. Rosario Battung, was a Good Shepherd nun and Zen master. I met her in 2015 when I started exploring Zen meditation and she became my Sensei until she passed away in 2021. She was an activist during the Marcos years, fighting against injustices alongside laborers and farmers. She persisted with her mission even when there was danger to her life. She is also a proponent of the rights of our indigenous tribes and a promoter of feminism. How she has become a role model for me is in the way she has integrated activism with mindfulness and spirituality. Those parts of her were synergistic. She taught me that genuine change comes from our being, we can only bring solid and clear presence to the world if we care for ourselves. I put a lot of intention in bringing this to my daily life and in transmitting this to the people I work and interact with. 


I have also been very inspired and influenced by my former boss in Berkeley, California—Shahnaz Mazandarani, an American immigrant from Iran. She was the CEO and founder of the non-profit organization I worked with for more than a decade. She embodied feminism so well in the way she balanced courage and caring. When we first met during my interview, she sang Leron, Leron, Sinta! I felt instantly at home. Shahnaz was one of those people who I felt saw and trusted my capabilities when I wasn’t feeling so secure in myself. I really appreciate that she was willing to give me the big tasks that helped me build a lot of new skills and made me feel I have room to make mistakes. That brand of leadership was something I always try to carry within me—to make people feel seen, heard, and trusted. 



Based on your work, what have you seen is the number one factor that positively contributes to a woman's mental wellness? 

I would say self-compassion. Self-compassion has 3 key ingredients: being mindful of what we’re experiencing, internalizing a sense of shared humanity that no one has it all perfect/no one has it all figured out, and relating to oneself with kindness. So for example, I’m having a tough day, there are plans that are not working out as I hoped and feelings of inadequacy start creeping in, self-compassion would mean, pausing, checking in with myself, acknowledging how I’m feeling, inviting the inner critic to be more of an inner coach, and asking how can I best support myself in this moment? Instead of getting hooked into self-doubt and anxiety, I can create the space to see the wiser path forward. 


What is one misconception about women that still exists, and how would you like to reframe or correct this thinking?

One misconception I often see in the workplace setting is how caring leadership is thought of as being “weak” or “soft.” Caring or attending to relationships is a feminine quality that should be seen and appreciated as a strength. We’ve traditionally held on to very masculine notions of leadership based on competition and uncaring execution as being the more effective way. I’m happy to see that there is a lot of evolution taking place toward a greater appreciation for wise compassion and relational competencies in the workplace. Refocusing our lens to elevate the unique qualities that women bring into leadership roles—in shaping cultures of compassion and belonging, acting ethically out of care for each other, accountability to the tribe. Former New Zealand Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, is a great example. Feminine qualities are essential to resilience and wellbeing yet we’ve ignored them for a long time. It has also been very fulfilling to be able to foster this transformation through the work we do in corporate mental health, where we need to challenge a lot of gender biases. 



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